a monthly column for members of the Society for Intuitive Research

If we are to live together as brothers and sisters, the education begins in our own homes.  

            Studies report that 82% of people in Western countries have at least one sibling, and siblings generally spend more time together during childhood than they do with parents.

            “Western culture has an obsession with sibling rivalry that began with the story of Cain and Abel and was elaborated by Freud, who labeled and dwelt on the competition between siblings for parental love and attention,” writes Jane Merskey Leder in Psychology Today.  “It's colored our perception of sibship ever since.  Therapists and lay people alike tend to view the relationship largely as one of struggle and controversy.” 

            While researching we found this Arabic saying was used to illustrate that sibling rivalry is experienced around the globe.  Read it and think about it a moment. "I against my brother; my brother and I against my cousin; I, my brother, and my cousin against the stranger.”  How one interprets this depends upon how one values life and the people in it.  Certainly it reflects a chain of events in thinking that elucidates the seed of animosity that has driven conflicts around the world for centuries. 

            Psychologists tell us that the sibling bond is often complicated.  It is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family.  Granted, these factors do have an impact because they help shape our experiences.  How we receive those experiences and what we give in return, is more a function of the understandings present when the soul comes into a life.  This is the realm intuitive research seeks to explore.

            Illuminating what works in sibling relationships is reflected in an Intuitive Report called a Family Profile.  Family Profiles explore the realities and projections for individual and collective growth between up to five immediate family members.  They are as unique in content as the families they describe. 

            These excerpts (03152007BGC01), taken from a profile involving three adult sisters, offer a refreshing perspective on sibling relationships.  They have seemed to drift apart, although they keep saying they would like to spend time together.  They hoped the Family Profile would answer why.  Imagine their delight as a common desire is brought to light, and as they learn that the conflicts they sometimes experience with one another come from different soul choices not ages-old, childhood misconceptions of shared rooms, broken toys, and fluctuating parental affection.

“...We see that there is a desire for there to be a communion and a greater level of understanding between these ones than exists.  We see that much of the differences between these ones is a manifestation of their individual character and their soul desires, which are not the same.  We see that there is some difficulty in these ones accepting this.  We see that the degree of difficulty does determine the degree of angst in regards to the association not being what they might want it to be. 

We see that there has been much gained in the association between these three.  We see that they have a strong inclination toward supporting one another.  We see that there is the capacity for these ones to begin to expand and to think more in terms of one another.   As these ones would be willing to cause a greater degree of communication between them, then there would be the recognition of the opportunity to learn.  We see that there would need to be first: the embracing of one another, the lessening of their own expectations, and an open-mindedness to receiving one another with love.

As this would be cultivated there could be the sharing of who they are as individuals, for we see that part of what existed in the past with the aggressiveness did move them apart from one another.  In the present period it is not present, and there is a receptivity that these ones can utilize to draw them together.  We see that it would be helpful for these ones to decide and determine different types of opportunities or projects they could do together.  It would not necessarily require their physical presence it would require; however, communication in regards to these ones being able to contribute what they have to offer. “  (03152007BGC01)                

            The universal quality of Intuitive Reports is what causes them to be of value to us.  Information specifically designed to aid those requesting it, offers clarity and wisdom for us all.  Here the basic tenets for supportive communication are given:

Practicing these three steps will contribute to the success of any group endeavor for it honors each individual while supporting what they are creating together.  Read this figuratively, with an imaginative flare.  Embracing may mean hugging one another.  It can also mean wishing another welcome, hoping they achieve their desires.  Lessening expectations may imply patience or a willingness to take daily action toward fulfilling a desire.  Open-mindedness may be sharing a passion for something or learning something new.

            Just imagine President Barack Obama’s daughters, Malia Ann and Sasha, playing with President of Afghanistan Hamid Karzai while Barack gets to know Hamid’s son Mirwais.  What a different world that will be! 

The SOUL CONNECTION

One of the outstanding characteristics of intuitive research is the insight from the soul level of existence.  This kind of research transcends the limits of the present association, seeking previous connections that have an impact on the relationship dynamic today.  Knowing that these three women were once three Jewish brothers in Syria, alters the way they can see themselves and each other.  At one point, the report states that the major differences between the brothers centered on how they practiced their religion.  Religious difference is often a theme in rivalry, whether between siblings or nations.

“We see that the major difference between these ones were in the way that they practiced the faith.  We see that as it evolved they ended up being more inclined toward the different sects.  We see the younger brother tended toward wanting to know more of the Essene teachings and the inner secrets or recognition of the scriptures themselves.  Both older brothers were more Pharisees in their leaning where they were quite attentive and diligent to the laws that were taught and passed down.  We see that the one of the elder brother gave more lip service to this than the second brother.  The second brother attempted to live by the teachings.  The elder brother did when it suited his purposes.” (03152007BGC01)                

In the present time period, none of these women are Jewish.  One of the greatest lessons arising from intuitive research for all of us is the changing nature of who we are.   Increasingly, we see this in the changing quality of modern lives.  People can have many careers in one lifetime.  They can have second, even third families, due to better health care and longevity.  They can live long enough to see their own values and ideas move from one extreme to the other and back again.  As we accept change in our own lives, we are more likely to accept change in others. 

            Acceptance opens the door for communication, and communication can lead to understanding of one another, whether within one family or between many.

“It would be helpful for these ones to communicate on a weekly basis.  There need not be physical contact.  However there does need to be some kind of communication so that there can be the development of the fulfilling of the purpose of why they incarned together.  We see that this choice is linked to their desire to be connected, to love at a distance, to master attention and the ability to mentally place attention upon others, to in essence learn to be with others, to concentrate, and to do so in a way that is receptive, that does receive and invite there to be inclusion.” (03152007BGC01)                

Here, the purpose of communication is seen to transcend everyday, conscious desires.  Communication is the means to fortify the soul, strengthening inner character of self.  Familial relationships are enhanced through the sharing of thoughts.  This profile goes a step further.  It states that a greater purpose for life is illuminated as these seven communication steps are followed:

These steps can enhance every relationship in our lives.  They are natural urges.  For example, parents desire to be connected with their children has fueled the sale of cellphones and there is increasing evidence when parents know how to “be with” their children, their kids are more attentive, concentrating better.  Everyone wants to feel included so knowing how to receive someone else is a valuable skill at home or at work.  Learning and practices these seven steps from a young age invites the best in us to come forward.  When differences are no longer threatening, cooperation comes easier.  If we are to create a wholesome environment to live in, it will certainly begin in how we treat each other from the time we come into this world.

            These three sisters learned it is never too late to receive one another and, being willing to do so, can have far-reaching effects at any age.

“We see that the ability for these ones to see how they can create together would be accelerating in their individual growth and progress.  As these ones would begin to delineate what they have that is different, unique, developed, in effect special to one another, and then turn their minds towards something that could be created using these separate talents and gifts, then there would be the willingness to put energy into something that is bigger than themselves, that could be produced.  In the past period, the way that this was done was the religion.  We see in the present period, this could be done in terms of any form that they want it to take.  It could be a business, it could be a particular product or an art form of some sort, something that they create together.  This would be most satisfying in regards to their own individual growth and patterns.”  (03152007BGC01)                

How amazing it is to experience such freedom in self expression all the while knowing that you have others to share it with.  The result is a confidence that reaches all the way to our roots.   

            Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry once observed, “Families are the compass that guide us.  They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.”  Perhaps as we become more soul-centered, we will become more generous with our family members and that generosity will overflow in our hearts to all people.•