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MAN AS CREATOR, leadership check
Power of Self Counsel
Hi Dr. Barbara,
I wanted to share with you something that I experienced a couple of weeks ago. I had been working through some initiation stuff about commitment and responsibility with leadership. I hit a point where I was ready to give up directing feeling that now was the wrong time for me, that I dont feel ready to commit myself to all that needs to be done. I was angry with myself for allowing my present situation to be where it was, as a director and in my own personal financial situation. I was going through a bunch of ego crap, talking it through, listening to myself talk and hearing how I sounded. It was disgusting stuff but important to verbalize so I could move on.
I decided to make some lists to help me work through this issue. I first made a list entitled: Times I have taken responsibility. This revealed some really good things that I have done and I could see that they were filled with purpose and strong intent.
The next list was: How I am responsible to my Self. An okay list but there is definitely room for improvement.
Then I made this list: Responsibilities I fear and fight. This became a list of those things I really want to do but allow my self-imposed limitations to interfere with the follow through.
And then I made this list: Being responsible means. This was the big eye opener. I wasnt writing down anything positive, everything was dark and negative. Some real crazy belief systems were in there. Yuck! To see it on paper and to know the emotion I had behind it was powerful. No wonder I fight and fear commitment and responsibility when it comes to leadership. It was an eye opening exercise to do.
That night after working on this I woke up in the middle of the night with pain in my gut. I knew I had hit a core issue. The pain intensified and I eventually threw-up. I guess I had a lot of old beliefs and limitations to get out of me! After that I felt great and went back to sleep feeling very peaceful. It was a wonderful expanding experience. I thought you would enjoy hearing about this self-counseling session. It was free and very productive!
I know I have more work to do on this. It will be nice when I can get out of my own way, move beyond my limitations and firmly accept with excitement the opportunities I have to be a Leader. My intuitive reports often talk about leadership. The most recent past life reading said that Leadership and Reasoning are the understandings I have and are also what my Soul wants to gain more understandings about now. I have avoided leadership positions my whole life, so right now I am feeling like I have bitten off more than I can chew. And yet, I love the idea of being a leader and can fully imagine being a very powerful one.
I continue to peel away my layers of protection, doubt and fear that I have surrounded myself with. Im determined to move through this so that I can finally live a life that reflects my True Self.
Thank you for listening. It was helpful to write out my experience and )talk about it with you. Have a great day Dr. Barbara. I love you.
from Master Living: 10 Essential Life Skills for Health, Prosperity, Success, & Peace of Mind
copyright 2005 School of Metaphysics
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