Why Pain, Why Disease, "Why Me?"


Why Pain, Why Disease, "Why Me?"

John Clark has been facing death since he was fifteen. That was when he was diagnosed with juvenile onset diabetes and told he would need an artificial source of insulin in order to live.

A modern-day Angulimala, John has dealt with his demons all his life. Unlike Angulimala he has not taken the life of others, but he has in many ways stolen life from himself. Repeated self-indulgence has come at a high cost for John. He has faced death many times. He is now witnessing the effects of years of abuse, years of refusing to create positive change in himself and his life. His story is at times poignant, at other times infuriating, perhaps because we can so easily relate to it. Although diabetes may not be our "cross to bear" some other physical disorder is.

When disease enters your life you first want to restore wellness. You want to become whole again. If it's a virus you want it to be cleansed from your body. If it's diseased tissue you want it replaced by healthy, functioning tissue. If it's inner turmoil you want it resolved so the mind and heart can find peace. And most of us are like John, we want it right now. When it is not forthcoming, we determine our own destiny by how we fight or respond to change.

Ultimately, we discover that our desire to be healthy depends upon answering a question that arises in everyone's mind: "Why me?" Sometimes the question seems easy to answer. If you bring home a severe case of poison ivy from that beautiful weekend in the woods the answer to why readily comes. If you are the parent of an eight year old with a brain tumor the answers are not so easy to find. Because disease is so much a part of the human experience, what it brings to us is also similar. Yes, it can bring pain. It can also bring relief.

Disease indicates a karmic debt that needs to be paid.

I've heard some people claim, in retrospect, "I needed to have that disease in my life." This is usually in the context not of the suffering endured but of what has come from facing the diseased condition. Families are reunited to battle an invader that threatens to take one of their own. People share what has long been withheld, forging bonds of friendship and love that laid fallow for years. Some cease self-destructive behaviors, replacing them with health-producing ones. Some inspire, teach, or aid others from their experiences.

I don't believe anyone needs to have disease in their life, yet when it arises I know there is a reason. That reason always centers around fighting change. By researching what causes health and wholeness, necessary prerequisites to fulfilling potential and cultivating genius, we have discovered etheric energy connections between the mind and body. In the course of our study we have isolated the misconceptions in the mind that produce malfunctions in the body. Beyond the consciousness implications of Dr. Kubler-Ross' five stages of dying, are specific patterns of thinking that organize energy in the mind and in the body. Ultimately, what we are seeing again and again is that disease is a physical manifestation of a type of thinking that is illustrative of what needs to change. Obviously we want the body to change when it is sick. We want it to be healthy. The truth is we must equally desire the mind to change, for until it does the illness will reappear.

Some see this as punishment. It is not. A life well-lived is the result of self-awareness and self-control. A life lived carelessly cannot manifest greatness but it will manifest a life that cares less. In the Western world of Christianity Jesus best described it "as you sow, so shall you reap." The concept is common sense, it is simple, and it is universal. When you plant an acorn, an oak tree grows. When you plant seeds of love, harmony grows, mind and body are strong. Plant seeds of self-condemnation, unworthiness grows, and your kidneys suffer. Indulge ideas of defensiveness and your immune system will weaken. Refuse to face facts and your ability to see with your eyes will decline. Each thought, whether positive or negative, creates an energy pattern that eventually is reflected in the physical life and body.

Disease indicates a karmic debt that needs to be paid. Because of its Eastern origins, many in the Western world jokingly dismiss the concept of karma. Having only a superfluous knowledge of the concept they fail to learn karma's relationship with Isaac Newton's Laws of Relativity. In its expanded context, karma denotes the workings - in the individual's soul and body - of the Universal Law of Cause and Effect. Karma is the means by which the soul matures for it enables us to understand what we cause. Intention causes Karma. Understanding relieves it. When there's the recognition of what the karmic debt is and the debt is paid there is a restoration to balance, what we call health or wholeness.

The typical response goes something like this, "Well I don't see how that can be true because I certainly didn't intend to get sick." Although a few may knowingly manufacture illness for their own motives most people do not. Yet who of us cannot recall an upset stomach that fortuitously kept us home from school on the day of a test we weren't prepared for, or a headache which gave us an excuse to go lie down thus escaping an unpleasant situation. There is no doubt that thought has energy. When that energy is intelligently directed it is a powerful creative element in our lives, fostering growth and causing healing.

The reality is that most diseases known to man, and all of the noncontagious diseases, are the result of specific ways intelligence and energy have been used. What exists in the imagination of the sculptor is revealed as he wields his chisel on stone. So it is with each of us. What exists in our imaginations is revealed as we use our will to fashion our lives. A disciplined imagination is the cornerstone for every good man has ever created. An undisciplined imagination, one filled with all manners of fear and doubt, is his greatest curse upon himself and his neighbor. This is illustrated in John's life.

John's story is an oxymoron, bitter and sweet. For almost twenty-five years he has been living on borrowed time and his series of Intuitive Health Analyses, which span a decade, reveal a startling history of awarenesses offered that were denied and opportunities presented that were refused. Amazingly, the analyses reveal how a treatable disease goes from bad to worse, revealing the mind's descent into destructive attitudes that lead to life-threatening conditions. They also show how at any time disease can be treated effectively through mental and physical disciplines that redirect what otherwise is a darkly predictable path to the end of life.

John Clark's final years are detailed in Kamic Healing by his widow Dr. Laurel Clark. John died one month before the book went to press in the fall of 2000.

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