from the newly released How to Raise an Indigo Child
Creating a Spiritual Focus
for Your Family
interviews with the Padillas
Teresa and Ernie Padilla are the parents of a beautiful girl who is now into her teens. In 1997, they attended what is called a Spiritual Focus Weekend on the campus of the College of Metaphysics in the Ozark Mountains of Missouri. Here they gathered with several other parents and a mentor for the express purpose of coming to deeper awarenesses of themselves as parents. The weekend, combining instruction, discussion, practices, and an Intuitive Report on each child, fueled their aspirations and restructured the way they saw themselves as people and their daughter as a soul.
After a few weeks had passed we met to talk about their experiences in the hope their insights might aid others. At the time Briana was nine. The family lived in Webster Groves, Missouri, where Ernie worked full time for a contractor and Teresa worked part time. She was getting close to being financially able to homeschool Briana. Their attendance at the Spiritual Focus Weekend was a loving gift from friends for which they will be eternally grateful.
In the course of our meeting, Ernie began explaining one of the perspectives that revolutionizes parenting any child. This is the reality of knowing your child as a soul. The timeless idea of the soul is now finding a place where it can best nurture every human being born in the home.
The Soul You Call Your Child
Ernie Padilla: Part of what helped in the Spiritual Focus Session was the idea of dealing with your child as a soul rather than be attached to it like this is mine.
Barbara: Like a possession?
Ernie: Right. My perspective changed. I have a greater purpose in giving. Its easier to follow through.
Barbara: Whats the difference in how you saw Briana, children, before, and now how youre seeing them?
Ernie: I guess I just intellectually knew that kids were souls. It took the weekend of discussion, focus, contemplation for it to sink in. At one point Dr. Pam (Blosser, the session mentor) said, I want you to take fifteen minutes to hear what your child is saying to you as a soul. What is it they want to learn from you as a soul? Sitting down and thinking about that for fifteen minutes and then objectively looking at it from that perspective gave me a whole different experience. Instead of her just being a little girl in a body that were taking care of, its now more. Its more like Im entrusted, except its a different image though. Im not sure what the word is. Its kind of like an honorable responsibility though.
Ernie: Duty is closer. Entrusted would be the closest word.
Barbara: You said that you intellectually knew about children being souls, but how did you get that far? Most people, even the most religious, when they look at their children, dont think of the souls in their presence. They think of the little body that is just adorable or is throwing a fit, or the teen who is growing up too fast or running around with the wrong crowd. How did you intellectually form that idea, do you remember?
Ernie: Probably because it gave me a way to be distant and not responsible. Recognizing who I am, and that my example does have an influence.
Barbara: Are you saying it came from you beginning to believe and have knowledge of your Self as a soul? That then you could see that other people, including your own child, as a soul?
Ernie: Yes, I think that would be it. When I heard Brianas analysis say this one grasps concepts very quickly then she thinks that she knows more than she really does know, I thought, God this sounds just like me!
An Intuitive Health Analysis on Brianas health given during the course of the weekend began in this way:
This one is quite expressive with the thoughts. The mind moves very quickly, and we see this one is able to grasp concepts very quickly. We see that there is some confusion that occurs however because this one does not know the difference between experience, understanding, and wisdom. We see that this one can grasp concepts and has an intuitive ability to receive images from other people. This one often becomes confused by these ones believing that this one has a greater depth of understanding than she does possess. We see that this does lead this one to false conclusions. It does retard this ones reasoning skill and it does keep this one from causing the kind of learning that is necessary for this one at this point in the development... (510971bgc)
Ernie: Then it talked about the creativity being stifled, and stubbornness.
The report continued.
We see that this one is in the process of attempting to release infancy and the dependency that is inherent in it and begin to embrace a more responsible and freer expression of the Self. We see that this one is having some difficulty in doing so because there is not the guidance or the stimulation to learn how to learn. We see therefore this ones learning is beginning to shut down, and we see that this is exhibiting itself in a variety of ways. It is obvious in a kind of stubbornness this one is beginning to develop through particular habits in the way that this one thinks that are being established and are being well rooted. This is because this one is not releasing the dependency of infancy to embrace the change of growth, but this one is trading the dependency upon external factors for a dependency upon habits. This retards this ones reasoning for this one does not use imagination when this one is stubborn, this one is only using memory and will. Would suggest therefore that this ones imagination would need stimulating. We see that this one can be highly creative, this one has a great potential in that regard, but we see that it is not part of this ones nature to stimulate the Self in that regard, therefore this one is dependent upon the environment to provide it.
Ernie: Immediately I looked at my Self and saw what kind of example I had been setting for the previous nine months. I couldnt deny it, I mean there was the truth right there. I recognized that I wasnt applying the metaphysics that I was learning and teaching. It was just talking a bunch of words, I really wasnt identifying with who I truly am. This realization brought back the memory of something you said to me a while ago: You have a vision thats very rare, we dont need you at your mediocracy, we need you at your best. That stuck with me because I know times when I am just mediocre, and there are several times when I can be great. To be great all the time is to embrace the greatness as the spiritual being, as the soul. When I heard the stubbornness I guess it hurt me. Not only was I letting my Self down, now I was letting down this soul that is in a physical body thats nine years old. That truth hurt me inside, and I wanted to do something about it by using my imagination and will power. I think commitment is the link.
Barbara: Honesty is one of the greatest learnings of physically parenting. You may think you can let your Self down, or your mate, or your boss or your best friend and theyd get over it, its okay. When you have a child, if you have any kind of Self awareness then you realize that there are certain experiences that they may carry with them for decades. Its one thing to inadvertently be a part of something that a child remembers like that, but its another thing to be aware of a fault in your Self and not do anything about it. Its too easy to use it as a stimulus for you to be the best you can be. Kids remember, and they imitate. A Universal Truth is if you want someone to be something, first be that yourself.
Teresa: It touches me very deeply to see Ernie embracing what it is that we have to offer, and giving that to Briana. Thats helped our relationship. Its helped me to trust in something and maybe start trusting as far as both of us because family has always been very important to me and is directly tied up in my relationship with Ernie. The weekend helped us to create together, to have something to create with.
Barbara: Common Goal?
Ernie: Theres definitely greater cooperation, a gentler and kinder responsiveness with each other and with Briana. Probably the biggest change was recognizing what I do as far as being more trustworthy and using my imagination in communicating with Teresa and Briana. Theres more trust in my Self which I think has created a greater sense of peace in my Self so theres a greater love that Im experiencing or a deeper love.
Brianas Intuitive Health analysis began its report on the emotional system with We see that emotionally this one would benefit from developing belief and trust. It was very clear that Briana was absorbing and patterning herself after what her parents were displaying and teaching at that time. For them the report suggested, that those around this one need to be keenly aware of their own trustworthiness, and their own reliability and to take greater care in how they express their thoughts, for this one is keenly observant and still imitates the environment. Ernie had taken this suggestion literally to heart.
For Teresa, sharing this experience with her husband, the father of her child, meant the most. Although they saw each other every day, and were leading what would appear to be a normal life filled with work, extracurricular activities, trips and various relationships, a weekend when they could absorb themselves in their love for their daughter and what was in her best interest was very rewarding.
Teresa: Something unique that we experienced in the Spiritual Focus Session that other participants didnt was we were there together. The other participants were either single parents or the spouse was absent. I was greatly appreciative that Ernie and I could share this weekend. We needed this kind of spiritual guidance that only a weekend like this could provide.
Barbara: What aspect did you find particularly meaningful?
Teresa: It was the whole experience. It was the structure that was needed for Briana, Ernie, and I to interact with, our relationships together, also our marriage and us as individuals. This Spiritual Focus Session touched on all of those aspects, and that was what we needed. I felt several times a settling inside of me, Teresa this is what youve needed for a long time. Im glad somebody created this.
Ernie: I know how these kinds of spiritual initiations are going to change the consciousness of humanity. We definitely wanted that experience and have had that experience through this weekend and our lives have been changed. We know what its like to be intuitive man, at least for a weekend.
Another important thing we learned this weekend was creating a place inside ourselves. We had forty-five minutes to write what we thought home is. I was so still and calm and at home mentally that I wrote about it in picture language. It was like writing a song (Ernie is a musician). I remembered what it was like. I almost think of it like writing a Beatles song, its really great. Its not just mediocre or really good, its something great and thats what I experienced. We wrote it down so we could read it any time and no matter where we are we can always bring that memory out.
Getting Inside Your Childs Head
At some point every parent thinks, If I could only know what my child is thinking. Whether in the mind of a new mother whose efforts to soothe her newborn seem to meet with failure or in the mind of the father who watches his daughter leave for her first date, the question is timeless and always the same. The peace of mind of knowing what your child thinks and why has eluded us until now.
What changes this is the availability of intuitive research. Information gained through a controlled use of subconscious mind is bringing into being a new science, a new way to understand ourselves, each other, and our world. This is not mind reading, rather it is a precisely designed means to explore the origin and expression of consciousness. The Intuitive Health Analyses are particularly insightful for they relate the mental, emotional, and physical factors causing imbalance. They also give suggestions for restoring wholeness in all three areas. This information is invaluable for every parent, so much so, that one of these reports is given for each parents child in attendance at the Spiritual Focus Weekend. This enables the mentor to guide the parents in studying, understanding, and implementing what is given for the greatest possible outcome.
The mentor sets the parents feet firmly on a growth-filled path so each can carry the new discoveries into their home life. Ernie and Teresa began by letting Briana hear the Intuitive Health Analysis that had been given for her.
Ernie: As soon as we got back after the session we had Briana listen to her reading. Then we talked about it with her. Her stubbornness came out, Well I know it all already. Well I know. Immediately Teresa and I heard it and we said, Thats what your analysis is talking about, and we talked about it a little bit more and she did it again. We go, Thats what its talking about! Then she smiled and looked at us. She knew what was going on. Since then theres been a very dramatic change in her, and shes different. Shes learning on her own now. Shes initiating a lot more of her learning.
Teresa did one thing where we talked about what infancy was, what adolescence is, what adulthood is, what old age and wisdom is and have her memorize them. So I think she has a different idea now of how to look at those.
Barbara: And maturity. I would think the insight would give her a different idea of what it is to mature because thats going to be important to her. You know, I mean especially when youre dealing with an Aquarian child plus youre dealing with an Aquarian child who has metaphysical parents. She has parents who are continuing to learn all the time. Her choices are different, her soul urge is different, and she is always going to be more mature than people her own age no matter how old she gets. Even now at nine she could probably teach twelve year olds as well as six year olds.
Teresa: I recognized the need for that a while ago. I didnt recognize the need for her. When I heard that in the report, I remembered others which said Briana has an understanding of cycles and growth and all different life forms. I guess one of the reasons why she needs to teach people and work with people of all different age groups is that she has some understanding....
In describing her mental system, Brianas report had described this in a manner Teresa immediately identified and embraced. First what the report said.
...We see that new conditions around the Self are stimulating to this one; they do promote this ones imagination. We see that this one needs to develop skills in regards to working with other people of all ages. This one would benefit greatly by tutoring, by teaching those that do not know what she knows. We see that this would aid this one in many capacities and would in essence begin to teach this one how to learn, which is what this one needs the most at the present time..
Teresa: Ive had this growing need to give to (Briana) what weve learned and go beyond that. This was wonderful to hear because it helped me put things together as far as what were doing thats on track, also what we can do in the future and the expectations that we can have for her. The thought that touches me....I was raised Christian. Before Briana was born I remember very specifically I was thinking about what kind of mother I wanted to be. The thought of Mary (mother of Jesus) came into my mind. I thought well, that would probably be the greatest gift that I could give her if I could be like Mary, and I could teach somebody like Jesus, to contribute something like that to the world. Thats what I started cultivating. My grandmother had read me stories about Mary. So I had those thoughts in my mind to turn to.
So when I heard this intuitive report, it started making sense to me about Brianas creativity. The reason why shes very creative and the reason why she chose us as parents this lifetime. How important it is for us to be an example that was a large part of that weekend was learning how to be the kind of example that you need to be and that kids need to help them fulfill their assignment. This is a line that just keeps on going over and over in my mind, These ones, referring to the parents, dont realize the full impact yet of merely being who they are. That just stuck out from the whole reading when I heard that.
Barbara: Ninety percent of parenting is living it, especially at her age, because now shes going to start coming to you with dilemmas, with questions, and youll have a chance to give her your experience, and teach her how to think, and how to trust her own judgement. The infancy days are over, and now she must use whatever you have taught her up to now. Youre there as a sounding board, a counselor, and a teacher every once in a while. The example of the people who you are how true you are to what you say and how much what you say and what you do are the same, thats going to make all the difference in the world.
Ernie: That also came up in the reading.
We see that emotionally this one would benefit from developing belief and trust. We see that there has been in the past some disruptions of both of these, and we see that this one has developed somewhat of a distance or what could develop into a cynicism because this one has been hurt in the past or betrayed where something was promised to this one and then it was not fulfilled. We see that it is important for this one to be reliable. It is important for this one to know the thoughts and meet the commitments that this one makes. It is part of the strength that this one needs to develop in the Self at the present time period so that this one can develop the trust in herself and her own judgement. We see that this is a process, it needs to be built over time and guidance would be of benefit in this...
Ernie: In the past there was a sense of betrayal in her learning to know trust. I looked back and I recognized some places where I didnt do what I said. Since having the reading, every time I say Im going to do something, I make sure to follow through on it. It makes a big difference.
Barbara: Like what kind of things?
Ernie: Like, she always wanted to know what time are you going to be home? I had to think about it so that when I tell her Im going to be home at this time, Id be home at this time, or if Im going to be a little bit later, then to at least call and talk to her and let her know whats going on. There are other things like the swing set in the back yard that has been there for a year and has never gotten concrete in it and she asks, When are we going to do that? and I told her on Friday. On Friday I made sure I went out and got the cement. We mixed it up together and we put it in the holes, dug the holes out and now she has a workable swingset. It took all of three hours.
Barbara: Shell always remember the day daddy and she put that swingset up.
A teacher of concentration and meditation to adults, Teresa knew Briana needed help directing her mind. This would ease the transition of the soul into the physical world, making that transition more gentle, and easier. What she has to offer about how she worked with her daughter gives all of us a picture of what we can do as parents and stimulates thinking on our parts to become more aware of our influence directly and through example. We call this conscious parenting.
Teresa and Ernie were also aware of the Intuitive Reports offered through the School of Metaphysics and had requested several, two for Briana prior to the report they received as part of the Spiritual Focus Weekend. How they integrated what these reports revealed into their care and direction of Briana is inspiring. Their lives testify to the advantages intuitive knowledge brings, and how an Intuitive Health Analysis can serve as your personal teachers guide for your child.
Teresa: I helped Briana to bring her attention to what she was doing fully, by using her senses. I would ask her questions, What does it feel like? What does it sound like? so she could be fully there and identify that experience. I would show her undivided attention by using it, or (point out to her) when other people were using it. Id also point out the results when other people werent using their full attention.
Theres an evolvement (in Brianas successive intuitive reports). The first one said that she was malnourished. I remember being shocked about it because we were feeding her just tons of food, and I thought how can she be malnourished? We try to get all these different kinds of food, and have a balance of different kinds of food different textures, more organic, more healthy than we had ever been. What we came to realize was that undivided attention and being together and allowing more time for meals was missing in our lives. We were eating on the go a lot of times. Thats what we changed.
The report given during the weekend said nutrition and vitamins are still needed but now theres an evolvement: she needs to learn about the cycle of how energy works.
Teresa is referring to the following excerpt describing the condition of Brianas physical body:
We see that the body needs more nutrition. It would utilize all vitamins and minerals more if there was more given to it, we see that this one needs to learn to appreciate food as a source of energy. We see that purpose is very important to this one at this time, and we see this needs to be reiterated to this one because it has not been given to this one earlier. We see that the repetition of this would be quite beneficial in this ones ability to learn how to learn and in making the transition that has been spoken of. We see that this one needs to understand that there is a relationship between her own body and that of other bodies, root races, in essence that of plants and animals, and that there is a cycle of the expression of energy that occurs through the process of eating.
Initially Teresa describes this in physical terms, but as she continued speaking she reveals a more important lesson that she is learning about herself.
Teresa: Briana needed to learn what happens when food goes in the body, even in relation to other life forms; how other life forms use food. Photosynthesis is the first thing that comes to my mind. She needs to learn that its not only her that this is occurring in. It relates to everyone and everything, more of the purpose behind it. We didnt really teach her purpose in the very beginning because I dont think we understood it. Now were teaching her purpose. It would have helped to be taught a long time ago.
Barbara: Perhaps, yet we can only teach what we have awareness of and we teach best what we know because knowing comes from personal experience. Also realize by working with Briana about energies now, both you and she will be preparing for what will happen with her in the next three to five years. When her Kundalini begins to become active shes going to be much more prepared to respond to the transitions it stimulates. She will better understand the spontaneous spurts of creativity, having an idea of whats happening, why, and how to channel it. Learning how to learn provides a strong foundation for this. Knowing how to concentrate, how to remember, how to visualize eases the experience of the Kundalinis arousal.
Ernie: The earlier reports talked about the importance of the basics, concentration and so forth. Her second report suggested a reverence for God and building some kind of spiritual foundation. I worked with her a lot. She likes to read books, so I would read her a story at bedtime or do something spiritual. She used to really enjoy reading the sayings of Paramahansa Yogananda which is some really enlightening stuff. I guess one thing I began to realize is the importance of teaching infancy, adolescence, adulthood, old age and wisdom. I knew Id heard the concepts before and to some degree I had an idea of what they meant and was using all of them. Its really understanding the importance in learning and having that concept of living; its like breathing. Its something you have to live by.
Barbara: What I hear you describing is the difference between seeing something and perceiving it. The conscious developed intellectual ability is one mental action. It is a skill to observe, to watch, to learn through reading or through someone speaking, and from that to see a concept or an idea. Its a different action to actually know the truth of it, to know the cause of it, to see how it operates in the universe. Thats perception.
What youre describing, Ernie, is that youve seen these concepts for a long time, so much so that you took them for granted. Now because of Briana youre beginning to move beyond the point where youre seeing it with your conscious mind to where youre perceiving it with more of your mind, so you actually can observe, participate, experience, directly grasp the truth of the concept. This is how you move from believing something to knowing it.
Where would you say you are headed now?
Teresa: Ill let the visionary go first.
Ernie: Im really glad that youre asking us to talk about this so we dont take it for granted, for one. Were headed to bringing out the greatness in all of us. Living an example of creating and learning how to learn the most basic or essence. To some degree physically we already live that. Mentally embracing our learning. Its the difference between eating really good food nutrients just go right through your body, and eating really good food and you absorb the nutrients. With our family right now, with Teresa and I, we have a wealth of experiences and sure we have our stubbornness and so forth, but the kind of lifestyle and freedom that we live right now and just using it. Being aware of what were doing, how were doing it, why were doing it, and sharing that with other people.
Barbara: Conscious living.
Barbara: Purpose with a very expanded view.
Ernie: Its still just theory now at this time.
Barbara: Most people define knowing as an intellectual endeavor. You know because you had it done to you or you saw your parents do it or all the other parents are doing it or a book says to do it.
Ernie: I was listening to an audio tape of one of your Interfaith lessons where you asked: Have you ever asked yourself why is it so important to our society, to all of us, that we have relationships. That we have babies. And, if you dont then theres something wrong with us? Its making more and more sense to me. Why is that so important to us? Not necessarily that were doing it, but why are we doing this? Im going to answer that question.
Ernie was learning one of the essential lessons of conscious parenting. He had moved from ideas of ownership to being rooted in love for his daughter. From this point of view he could open his heart where the answer could be found.
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