from the newly released How to Raise an Indigo Child
Prerequisite for Reasoning
I was looking forward to working in the studio with Paul Madar. We planned to lay the foundation for a CD of Atlantean music. Produced by dulcimer strings, the vibrations would align consciousness, opening the listeners mind to ancient healing methods.
We were ready to go and I was preparing Pauls frame of mind. I thought of the metaform, a revolving geometric form, that might facilitate focusing Pauls attention. I quickly went to the upper room to retrieve it.
While coming down the narrow wooden spiral staircase, I realized Id be better served to move the metaform from my right hand to my left. This would free me to use the right hand to steady my descent. I was thinking this as I was already a quarter of the way down the stairs. As I reached with my left hand, the shift of weight was just enough to allow my left leg to skim the step. The nylon of my stockinged foot easily slid off the polyurethaned step and into the air. My right hand wasnt yet free so there was nothing to grab onto for support or even steadiness. In a second, I knew I was going to fall and everything started moving in slow motion.
I knew Id gone into the sixth level of consciousness.
You have to come out and deal with this, I reprimanded myself immediately, but not soon enough to reason to let go of the metaform in my hand. The compulsion was to save what I was holding childhood echoes of Dont break it! took over and rather than let go of that model I held onto it as I tumbled toward the wicker chest on the floor about four feet below.
My next thought revolved around the experience I was having. I felt pressure and heard something pressing into the left side of my face. My eye! The anxiety rushed forward. It felt like whatever Id hit was going through my face. Knowing the power of thought, I quickly banished that one with youre okay and action. My hand came up over the eye and I began directing energy prana, chi, ki, life force through my palm into the injured area.
Breathe! I thought and breathe I did. I know the power of breath from pranayama experiences and rebirthing. In assisting people in learning how to connectedly breathe, I had witnessed changes in asthmatic conditions, headaches, and even blindness. I knew thought control and breathing were the best mental actions to bring mind and body back to balance.
I got up off my knees, steadied myself, and moved toward the bathroom. I was doing fine until I saw the blood in the sink. The panic thought came back, My eye! It is not in my nature to live in fear. I want to know, so I immediately looked up in the mirror. Lowering my left hand, I could see the eye itself was fine and I could see through it. The blood was coming from an inch gash across the cheekbone and a smaller cut on the eyelid.
I knew the best thing I could do was keep breathing connectedly. I did for half an hour, as I gently rinsed the area with cool water. The only time there was pain was about five hours later when I made the mistake of eating. I wasnt really hungry, but I ate anyway, moving muscles that didnt need the stress. As a result, I experienced a dull ache for about three hours that was more annoying than distracting or devastating.
There were many times in this experience that I experienced gratitude with my head and my heart. Breath had gotten me through the experience, giving me a healing focus. Now it was time to understand why this had happened, beyond the outer clumsiness. I knew it could have been worse, and I knew it was in my life for a reason. One of those reasons came to light during a session with a health practitioner over a week later.
I knew jarring my skull the way I had meant I was in need of energetic and matter rebalancing, just to get the bones back in place. To evenly redistribute these energies, my mind focused on the fall, what I thought about it and how I felt about it.
The attitude the practitioner fed back to me was gratitude. He said, Be grateful for the things in your life! Be thankful for what is in your life.
My first thought on hearing this was an exasperated, Ive already been doing that! as if there is an end to gratitude, a point where you dont need to do that anymore.
As he kept muscle testing and reestablishing polarities, my mind drifted to my upbringing. I saw a mass of thoughts best described as others telling me to be grateful when I already was. Whether it was being grateful for food on my plate where children half a world away had none or being grateful that someone else loved me even when I was less than perfect or being grateful to live in the United States, my elders always sent me a message that I should be more grateful. I received this as not being grateful enough and I rebelled against that thought.
As a youngster I was not quite strong enough to hold my own in a household of four adults telling me I wasnt something I knew I was! This memory began to unlock a chain of Self reflective thoughts.
From that beginning I had built a resistance to people telling me how I think or what I think. Anytime anyone family member, instructor, boss, advertising executive, experts tried this I saw it as an invasion of something very precious to me: my right to think. I had no resistance to learning or receiving instructions. I did resist others trying to control my mind by pressing their desires and will onto me. As I got older, I began to understand that the mind to control is your own, and that when you control your mind, you no longer fear others controlling you. Nor do you feel the need to try to control others minds. In recent years, I have learned this is a lesson shared by every talented and gifted Indigo soul.
In this moment I was separating my feelings of being controlled, which were exemplified in the health practitioner telling me something I already knew, from my thoughts about gratitude that I knew were true. Reading, studying, and counseling hundreds of people through Intuitive Health Analyses taught me the difference between and the connection of the mental system and the emotional system in human beings. Today, I was drawing upon what I had learned to make a significant change in my life.
I could mentally see that gratitude is timeless, endless, fulfilling. I knew in that moment that my impulse (feeling) to emotionally reject someone else telling me what I already knew was the barrier between partial knowledge and complete understanding. I let go of my resistance. The truth of the moment washed over me as a healing wave.
My mind expanded and I could see how my interpretation of this experience was tied to my experience of raising Hezekiah. I want to teach him how to be whole, connected, appreciative. This barrier limited me, making me far less effective as an example and as a teacher. Just the day before, Daniel had brought Hezekiah his usual breakfast of grits, sausage, and blueberries. Ki was so enthralled with the Eyewitness video we were watching, he gave no attention to dad. This was not the first time. Even with encouragement, he kept his attention and eyes on the television set. Good humor evolved into frustration that Hezekiah would refuse to acknowledge someone elses presence. In an effort to get his attention, I did something I hadnt done before. I turned off the television.
I gave him my full attention and looking him straight in the eyes, I said, Kiah, people are more important than things. Then I turned the television back on.
Since he and his father are both males, both Aquarians, I often rely upon my husband to enlighten me about our sons thoughts, moods, and learning. One thing Daniel has taught me is the source of Kiahs eruptions. Dan says they happen when Ki thinks he has lost control. How familiar that sounds! My scientific research of self and others has proven the truth in this sequence of thought events. Certainly, when I terminated his TV show, Ki knew he had lost control. This action was something I had never done before. Punishment is not an acceptable motive in my mind. I turned the tv off so Ki would break his attention which would free it to be placed elsewhere, in this case on learning something new. It was momentarily unpleasant, and I didnt know until the next day how Hezekiah had received the whole experience.
The next morning when dad brought breakfast, Ki said, Thank you, Daddy and I knew he was on his way to understanding the message.
Gratitude is a cornerstone of humanity because it is intrinsically linked to experiencing and expressing love. It has been a life long lesson for me, rich and spiritually textured. It is the power that enables me to surrender completely. I know its importance in reasoning and opening the mind to intuition.
Through children, particularly those I live with, I have learned gratitude is essential in their development. They are so very bright and quick that the need for all facets of love is keen. Love is what connects them with Self and each other. It softens the explosive energies of the talented and gifted which might otherwise prove harmful to themselves and others. Please, Im sorry, and thank you are more than social amenities and good manners. They are the seeds that enable us to become whole.
Since Ki was born I have been increasingly grateful for him and for my husband, for very good friends and students and teachers. Everyone in my life is generous and helpful in many ways. I have made it a point to say thank you often. This day I realized what more I could do to help my son open to gratitude. I realized, if I want Hezekiah to be grateful, I need to show it, to be it, as well as talk it. How was I acting when dad came into the room with breakfast? Was I immediately opening my mind and heart to include him or had I inadvertently failed to do so because my attention was on our son? Did I show him how to express love with others by being the first to hug others? I knew I hugged Ki often, and this was good. How good was I with others? Years ago I hugged often, and I knew I hugged much less these days. How could I be better? Did I just leave Ki with a brief Mommy and Daddy are helping people when we would go to teach class or give intuitive counseling? I knew from teaching adults that more words describing my experience would lead him to understand his own. I could do better at helping Ki to develop and integrate his perceptions of experiences.
I affirmed in that moment, lying there in the health practitioners office, to let go of the barrier I had created that kept me from experiencing ever-increasing levels of gratitude. I would be a living example of what I had realized today. And in time, Ki and others might emulate that example.
The old saying is, The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. I am committed to being the best tree I can be.
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©2002 School of Metaphysics