Growing up I never seemed to have too many "friends" in my life. I felt like an outsider always looking in.
That is why I had to chuckle when Dr. Barbara Condron asked us to write about "What is Friendship?" that morning in the Peace Dome. I never considered myself as having too many friends. The facts were (so I thought) I had very few friends, if any. Oh sure, I had associations, acquaintances, but they seemed so disconnected, so distant.
I began to look around the circle of people, seeking some guidance as to the answer to the question. That is when I saw John Mestyanek. John is my classmate and I have always looked up to him. He has that "big brother" attitude written all over him. He looked up at me and gave me a warm and loving big smile, as he frequently does. I can count on him for that. Those times when I tend to feel lonely or downtrodden he is there with his big smile.
That is when the thought came to me – "Friendship is the love given in a smile."
We then formed into two groups, the givers formed the inner circle as the receivers formed the outer. As each person shared their thought of friendship, I received their thought. My entire body felt nervously tingly. I felt each person's love and affection. I wanted to breathe in each person. I could literally feel my heart opening.
I felt as if I could no longer hide behind my own limitations of feeling alone, unwanted or unworthy. With each new person, I felt my walls tumbling down as I awakened to the fact that we are never alone. We all desire to belong, be connected, accepted and loved by others. I began to fill so full that I felt I was about to burst. The energy continued to build inside me and throughout me. I felt so alive, rejuvenated as if I just walked out of a long, hot shower.
I was vibrating as I sat down to write about my experience. I do not believe I ever allowed myself to soak in so much love at one time. I started to look at friendship in a whole new light this morning. It is just as important to receive as it is to give. That was a new thought for me. I had until today believed as I had been told growing up that "it is always better to given than to receive." In this moment in the Peace Dome, surrounded by dozens of friends some I had met for the first time two days ago, I saw how much I blocked out or pushed others away because of my fears, my hurts and unwillingness to unconditionally receive. Equally I would hold back what I had to give for fear of rejection or possibly becoming hurt.
Now we switched places. Those who were in the inner circle moved to the outer and those of us on the outer, receiving circle moved toward the inner giving circle. As I looked each of the people in the eye and said what friendship is, each person smiled. It was a very natural response. I thought about how simple that is.
As I continued around the circle I felt more and more the love that permeated the entire room. I knew in that moment that I was loved.
As I write down these thoughts, I can see that friendship – divine friendship – can happen anywhere, any time, and any place, and it is shown through something as simple as a smile. This moment will always stay with me for it opened my heart to a whole world of friends.
Laurie J. Biswell
College of Metaphysics
August 3, 2003
One Sunday afternoon in the year 1949, a young black divinity student traveled to Philadelphia to hear a lecture about Mohandas K. Gandhi, a Hindu religious leader in India who had been assassinated the year before. Gandhi’s belief that the power of love is greater than the power of hate, and that love can be used to changed people’s ideas and actions made an enduring impression upon the young man.
Before Martin Luther King Jr. read Gandhi’s writings, he had almost concluded that the teachings of Jesus could only be put into practice between individuals. After studying the way Gandhi had put his ideas into practice, King realized that he had been mistaken. He wrote, “Gandhi was probably the first person in history to lift the love ethic of Jesus above mere interaction between individuals to a powerful and effective social force.”9
Six years later Martin Luther King Jr. brought the principles and practices of satyagraha – soul force – to life in the West.
In 1955, a black woman, weary from the day’s work, took a Montgomery, Alabama city bus home. Like Gandhi before her, when a man demanded her seat, she refused to give it up. She was arrested and spent the night in jail. The white man’s name is long forgotten; the woman’s name is Rosa Parks. Her civil disobedience of an unjust law became the spark that ignited the civil rights movement in the United States led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. King launched a nonviolent crusade against racial segregation in America, a crusade which eventually earned him the Nobel Peace Prize.
In 1964, King, at 35, became the youngest person to receive the prize. Four years later, he — like his spiritual mentor Gandhi — fell to an assassin’s bullet.
What Henry David Thoreau began, Mohandas Gandhi matured. Then, Martin Luther King brought it to fruition. “It” is ahimsa; nonviolence, civil disobedience.
Gandhi did not believe in violence even for the noblest causes. His experiences in England, South Africa, and at home in India had shown him that permanent good is never the outcome of untruth and violence. He saw civil disobedience as an act of conscience––the inherent right of every citizen. He wrote, “Every state puts down criminal disobedience by force. It perishes, if it does not. But to put down civil disobedience is to attempt to imprison conscience.”10
Gandhi gave much thought to these ideas and worked toward ways to implement them. For disobedience to be civil, it “must be sincere, respectful, restrained, never defiant, must be based upon some well-understood principle.” Above all, civil disobedience must have no ill will or hatred behind it.
“Truth resides in the human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. Satyagraha is the name I gave this new way of overcoming injustice. It means holding on to truth or soul-force.”11
Gandhi believed evil, injustice, and hatred have no existence of their own. They exist only because we empower them. “Without our cooperation, unintentional or intentional, injustice cannot continue.” Gandhi saw ahimsa as the great spiritual teaching behind nonviolent non-cooperation.
In his acceptance speech, Dr. King said that ahimsa symbolized “the spirit and outward form of our encounter.”12 He believed he received the Nobel prize because as an individual he had become a symbol identified with the struggle for civil rights for Negroes in the United States. He described that struggle as “taking suffering upon the self instead of inflicting it on others.”
During his acceptance speech for the prize King said,
“In a real sense nonviolence seeks to redeem the spiritual and moral lag (that I spoke of earlier) as the chief dilemma of modern man. It seeks to secure moral ends through moral means. Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. Indeed, it is a weapon unique in history, which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it.”13
King let it be known that he was accepting the award at a moment when 22 million Negroes were engaged in a creative battle to end racial injustice and establish civil rights. He educated those present that only the day before (receiving the Nobel prize) fire hoses, snarling dogs, and even death met those practicing civil disobedience in Birmingham, Alabama. Others seeking the right to vote in Philadelphia, Mississippi were murdered, and over 40 churches in that state were bombed or burned for rejecting segregation. In light of this he questioned why the prize would be awarded to a movement which had yet to win the peace and brotherhood symbolized by the prize itself.
He accepted the prize as a recognition that nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral question of our time - “The need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to violence and oppression.” He acknowledged that the Negroes of the U.S., following the people of India, demonstrated that nonviolence is not sterile passivity, but a powerful moral force which makes for social transformation.
“Sooner or later all peoples of the world will have to discover a way to live together in peace, and thereby transform this pending cosmic elegy into a creation psalm of brotherhood. If this is to be achieved man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”14
I was quite taken with Dr. King’s ideas and the way he expressed them. I had been too young when he was doing his work in the world to notice. Now decades later, I could receive the blessing of who he was.
A well read man, King could unite ideas in a powerful way. His influence upon others rose not so much from rhetoric as from his appreciation and employment of imagery in his speeches. He spoke to the inner man, the soul, the Subconscious Mind of all people. This makes his ideas timeless. Half a century later they are as rich, as provocative, as when he spoke them.
Listen to how he describes poverty:
“A second evil which plagues the modern world is that of poverty. Like a monstrous octopus, it projects its nagging, prehensile tentacles in lands and villages all over the world. Almost two-thirds of the peoples of the world go to bed hungry at night.”1
And this description of mankind’s need to understand his own power:
“Yet, in spite of these spectacular strides in science and technology, and still unlimited ones to come, something basic is missing. There is a sort of poverty of the spirit which stands in glaring contrast to our scientific and technological abundance. The richer we have become materially, the poorer we have become morally and spiritually. We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers.”16
King could take what he had read, the thoughts and ideas of other great thinkers, and weave them together. The result is illuminating discourse that awakens the soul.
“This call for a worldwide fellowship that lifts neighborly concern beyond one’s tribe, race, class, and nation is in reality a call for an all-embracing and unconditional love for all men. This oft misunderstood and misinterpreted concept so readily dismissed by the Nietzsches of the world as a weak and cowardly force, has now become an absolute necessity for the survival of man. When I speak of love I am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response which is little more than emotional bosh. I am speaking of that force which all of the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality. This Hindu-Moslem-Christian-Jewish-Buddhist belief about ultimate reality is beautifully summed up in the First Epistle of Saint John, ‘Let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God’." 17
To experience the truth of what Dr. King said we put: “Love is.....” at the top of a sheet of paper. We began writing the thoughts and feelings that surfaced. We described our experience of love.
Although we did not share them at that moment, here are some of them for your consideration. Tad gave the wonderful perspective of the geologist, “Love is the movement of energy between matter, in the space of our universe. It attracts, it binds, it transforms, it creates our universe. It is the movement of energy between two beings that attracts, that connects, that unites and creates interaction, harmony and peace.”
John, a computer whiz, noted the vitality of love. “When we are being our real selves, love flows freely causing anything to be possible. It is unifying, healing, and all inclusive. It knows no bounds or limits. It is the energy of life.”
Stacy equated love with nature. “Love is like a fire and like a river and like the sun and like a flower and like the rain and like a warm, gentle breeze. Mother Nature knows love best, and she expresses it in all her forms. Sometimes love is moving—fast. Sometimes love is very still—breathing very softly. It is the experience of connecting with truth.”
For Mari, Roger’s wife and Kira’s mom, “Love is a thought of union with Self, God and others....Love is our essence and shines brightly on all like the sun. Love is to be given and received. Love is not seen when we are stingy. Love is possible for everyone.”
Matthew began with something very real to practicing metaphysicians, “Love is mental connectedness. The ability to unite consciousness and identity with the similarities inherent in each of us. Love is the melody that is produced when I blend with you.
L ight
O f
V alue
E xchanged”
Manager Lisa Bold described love as “an attitude of my mind. It’s warm, embracing, and cozy. It’s a deep emotional response other than my thoughts. It’s giving unconditionally and unselfishly. It’s conveying feelings toward other people that you are all for them and value them as an individual.”
Medical lab technician Terry echoed these thoughts. “Love is like glue. It’s the sticky stuff that connects parent and child, husband and wife. It is what unites all of the leaves to a tree until it's complete. And then love is in releasing so the leaves can blanket the earth becoming substance from which new growth will come. Love is the un-ending principle for life’s evolution. To be like. Love is light and truth, giving, connecting, being and becomingGrade school teacher Erika’s response reflected the meaning of friendship, “Love is the connection between souls. It is the part of human experience that most profoundly mirrors the divine. Love is why we were brought into being...When all else is removed, love is my true essence.”
Web designer Shawn described love in similar ways and then posed the question, “These are some of the things love produces, but what is love itself? It is the attractive force that causes everything from electrons, neutrons, and protons to men and women to planets and moons to galaxies to come together to produce something greater than what was there before in joyful abandon and bliss.”
Author Dr. Laurel insightfully offered, “Love is a verb. Loving is acting as God’s messenger.”
College instructor Dr. Pam described the experience of love in action eloquently. “It can be heard in a mother’s cooing to her baby. It can be seen in the sacrifice for something greater than the Self. It can be smelled when true friends meet and share learning and growth. It can be tasted when a child runs to gleefully hug another. It can be felt in a touch, a glance, a smile, a caress. Love is a movement from the infinite source through all the hearts of creation.”
Minister Teresa Padilla gave us images of this Source. “Love is the voice of God echoed through the sounds of nature and received through open minds who can hear. It is the eyes of God reflected through the window of our soul, and captured by one still, respectful mind who is ready to see. It is the breath of God, received fully by the entrained mind, expectantly.”
Writing of cycles, I concluded my thoughts with “Love is both the need and the fulfillment, the male and the female, birth and death. I am loved and beloved, resurrected.”
Describing our thoughts about love was just the beginning of this exercise. Now we would join in an experience of love. There were 20 people present, so we divided into two groups. One group became the inner circle, standing shoulder-to-shoulder forming a circle, facing outward. The second group circled the first, forming an outer ring standing side-by-side facing inward. Each person thus faced another.
Instructions were given for the inner circle people to form one sentence that exemplified their idea of “love is....” Few words, much detail. The experience began when everyone in the inner circle stated aloud to the person facing them, “Love is.....” and they finished the sentence. This occurred simultaneously. When silence rose, the inner circle rotated so each participant could move on to the next person and repeat his or her insight. This continued until all ten had spoken their statements on love.
Those receiving – those in the outer circle held their minds still during this exercise – drinking in the love offered by the others.
Upon completion everyone wrote about their experience. The inner circle wrote about their experience of giving. The outer circle wrote of their experience of receiving.
Then the groups came back together this time switching places so the givers were now receivers, and the receivers became givers. In this way by the end of the exercise everyone had given and received from each person present. The glow emanated from each of us. How our awareness of love was growing clearly reflected in our faces.
Here is how we described our experience in words.
Reflections from Dr. Daniel Condron’s experience
Receiving Love
Love is the Blessing of the universe.
Love is the freedom to receive.
Love is the joy of oneness.
Love is the peace of connectedness.
Giving Love
“Love is my golden-hearted act of giving.”
I gave my love.
I experienced people receiving my love.
I shared my love.
Reflections from Dr. Laurel Clark’s Experience
Giving Love
When I was giving, I felt the kind of anticipation I do on Christmas morning, looking forward to giving to each person. After the first couple of times it seemed like we all moved in sync—it took a couple of times for all the givers to move together as a wheel, like a chakra. Giving was fulfilling, especially when my mental image was clear and distinct. (Sometimes I got distracted by the loud voice next to me and felt like I was losing myself — like a drop of water in an ocean.) I realized later that the “in sync” occurred as I expanded my consciousness so that I could be centered in my Self in relationship to the whole, like being a spoke in a wheel.
Receiving Love
When I was receiving, I enjoyed the stillness and allowed myself to breathe in each person who gave to me. It was as if they were giving themselves to me, not just an idea. I felt moved to tears.
Reflections from Lisa Bold’s experience
Receiving Love
I felt everyone was very open to what love is to them. The picture I got was one of connectedness and God’s love moving through all of us with open arms.
Giving love
Everyone seems really receptive and open. I felt loved and connected.
Reflections from Paul Madar’s experience
Receiving Love
Mostly I received the thought that Love is the energy of the Creator moving through everything. I also received a picture of Love being bright, flowing, permeating, and connecting everything together. I tried remembering each thought at first, then simply let all of them wash through me to grasp the universal.
Giving Love
I felt like a wise master-teacher passing on the wisdom of the saints, and then felt everyone else in the inner circle sending out their picture, too. That felt like a sun radiating out rays of Light, all different expressions of Love, all true, yet each is different—like the birth of I AMs.
Reflections from John Harrison’s experience
Receiving Love
I received many different views of love. Some matched my own, many included what I believed. Love is energy, it connects us with each other, it is involved with or in Creation. When receiving from Dr. Laurel I felt my heart chakra spin or flutter or become agitated the most. With Matthew I felt his energy reaching out, trying to connect with me.
Giving Love
In giving I attempted to allow myself to give my love and light. Some made it out but not as far out as I would have liked. I was still holding back and trying to protect myself. Everyone was pretty open and receptive. I found I had (or I initiated) sounding a “gong-ding” to cause everyone to move to the next person. I had to be aggressive. I felt I needed to wait longer between each one to let the message and the love sink into each person before moving on.
Reflections from Terry Martin’s experience
Receiving Love
At first I wanted to give back by nodding or doing something physically. I noticed this was stronger when I believed or sensed some discomfort within the person giving. I wanted to create within myself an opening to fully receive and so I breathed with the person giving.
Giving Love
I had a clear thought of love and it was easy to give. I experienced connectedness all the way through myself no matter who I was giving to.
Reflections from Matthew Marian’s experience
Giving Love
The thought I gave to everyone in the circle is “love is mental connectedness.” As I gazed at the people who were receiving me I realized this is the experience of love. Every time I am with someone I have an opportunity to practice. It is so simple to reach out and embrace each other mentally. I imagine my experience of love to deepen and grow as I give and receive.
Receiving Love
I felt connected. I smiled the whole time. Everyone has an image of love and the most valuable aspect of the experience was they gave it to me and I received it. It is amazing to think of life as being that simple. What I mean is that I think we are all here to give and receive love.
Reflections from Sharka Glet’s experience
Giving Love
“Love is this wonderful, warm creative energy. We all are made out of this energy and it is Peachy Pink.” I loved describing love. Each time I said the sentence the picture of love became clearer in my mind and my heart became bubbly happy.
Receiving Love
I wish I remembered all what I have received. I have received a big bundle of warm energy through the attention of the individuals. I saw all the different attentions being connected to one source of light.
Reflections from Kerry Leigh’s experience
Receiving Love
It was an experience that opened up my heart to hear what was being given. I experienced a connection with each person that expanded to include everyone in the room and beyond. Being receptive allowed me to let go of the past and just be present in this lovely moment, listening, and receiving is giving.
Giving Love
Giving my vision to another was experienced by me as gratefulness for their presence and their receptivity and openness. Love is universal and universally exists so it is good to be able to give without fear. I received the benefit.
Reflections from Stacy Ann Ferguson’s experience
Giving Love
I said to everyone who was receiving that “Love is a fountain of giving.” As I went around the circle, I felt like a fountain. I smiled so much. The love I felt was so intense that I had a hard time containing it. I wanted to touch or hug everyone.
Receiving Love
That was so intense. I could barely handle it. I felt like the sun, radiating with enough energy to cause and sustain life in countless forms. Very warm light expanding to infinity. A glimpse of nirvana. Each person was like Buddha.
Reflections from Barbara Condron’s experience
Receiving Love
I expanded as each new wave filled my being — the cosmic Christ. Energy, power, connection, breath, God unites. Radiant energy — image Universal energy — complete. Free enduring, continuous. I experience breath of God.
Giving Love
Living, breathing with God. Image is the same as when receiving — as if different part lights up with each person. Acknowledgement of this light is reflected in the voice — in how I convey the thought — energy, inflection, emphasis — with each. This is the truth of “Love ye one another.” The melody of an unfinished song I started several years ago came into my mind. The song’s title – “Love ye one another.”
Reflections from Paul Blosser’s experience
Giving Love
“Love is the energy of the Creator moving through us to all of Creation.”
I formed a mental picture of our planet bathed in the light and love of Creation so everyone and everything was bathed in this Light and Love. By giving this thought form, I experienced openness with each person and a connectedness. I formed the thought in my mind, said the thought and then formed a picture again.
Receiving Love
I stilled my mind to receive each person and their idea of love. Love is glue, it is energy, it is within each of us, moving from the Creator to us throughout the universe. It is inclusive, expansive, infinite, connected. It is our golden opportunity to be like our Creator.
Reflections from Erika Scholz’s experience
Receiving Love
It was really inspiring to receive people’s images of love. I saw love through each of their eyes. I felt heart-centered and connected as I received each of their images. What Jonathan said really touched me because of its “humanness.” I also really appreciated Tad’s view of love. Each person became a facet of love that I was shown.
Giving Love
I said, “Love is my truest manifestation of divinity.” As I said this, I felt it resonate through me. I saw God in each of the recipient’s faces. I felt divine love pass between us. It was beautiful.
Reflections from Laurie J. Biswell’s experience
Giving Love
“Love is a powerful unifying energy that connects us all, God and humanity.”
It took me awhile to commit to a sentence. I felt nervous and very awkward willing to give. My solar plexus, and I probably recognize this the strongest since this is what I am studying now, was tingling, pulsating. I felt and acted like I couldn’t sit still to energy just rushing like I have to move, dance, cannot sit still, rhythmically up and down.
Receiving Love
I felt calmer, more relaxed, open every once in a while. I would still feel the bubbling pulsation of energy that needed to spew out, go forth from somewhere. Smiling faces connecting as the circle moved I noticed each sentence of “what is....” was different, as different as each individual expression. The core of love is the same, that love is all.
Reflections from Mari Hamersley’s experience
Receiving Love
I received each person giving their picture of love. I was still and listened to their words and at times formed an image in my mind. The most important part was simply being with that person who gave, looking in their eyes and loving them, receiving the essence of who they are, truly connecting in love.
Giving Love
As I gave, I said, “Love is the light and the energy of the Creator touching us all.” After I said that I moved God’s energy through me and mentally embraced each person. I wanted to stay there with each of them and experience the love, be one with them a little longer until it felt natural to move on. “Let me stay,” I thought. Then I remembered that we’re always connected in love. Then I experienced peace. Ahhh...Truth.
Reflections from Teresa Padilla’s experience
Giving Love
I was endeavoring to give what was moving through me in that moment. I experienced my picture being added to through the pictures of those around me. So what I had to say changed as I continued to give. I experienced the connection of others and how this effects and adds to me each moment.
Receiving Love
It was easier for me to receive. I was more centered. I felt warm, at peace, loved, appreciation for all of us. I experienced oneness. I was experiencing bubbles of joy welling up within.
Reflections from Tad Messenger’s experience
Giving Love
Giving my thought of what is love made that thought clear in my mind and opened my mind to the multidimensional facets of love. It made sense. Giving it many times made it crystallize in my mind.
Receiving Love
I received love from the giver as they gave their thought of what is love? Many facets including the Creator’s thought.
Mirrors of love move across my mind.
Fountains of love pour into my heart.
Love is all around, love is everywhere and kind.
Love is where the universe connected at the start.
Reflections from Jonathan Duerbeck’s experience
Giving Love
I believed in what I said.
Love is awareness of connection with what is loved and accepting and cherishing it as it is now and aiding it to grow, elevating the lover in the process. I stand far accepting and appreciating and aiding growth. That’s the big part. I felt nervous telling Doctors of Metaphysics what love is. I felt like saying “I think” or “I believe” first. I felt kind of canned a few times.
Receiving Love
I felt awkward in the silence after listening sometimes.
I wanted more time to let it sink in, all those profound ideas or profound truths. It gave me a self-respect of seeing how other people define love is different than how I do. Different views of it stand out to different people, and it’s still the same thing and it all fits together. Unity in diversity.
Reflections from Shawn Stoner’s experience
Giving Love
Giving my picture of love was still, connected. At first there were giggles, but these subsided and in their place was a strong picture and a deep desire to connect with the person I was giving to. My thought would move through me and I could feel it like a wave moving toward the other person.
Receiving Love
Receiving was a cosmic experience — like receiving the thoughts of God. I had to be still — the power of the thoughts were so strong. Each picture had at its essence the essence of the one who gave it,
Reflections from Dr. Pamela Blosser’s experience
Receiving Love
I received joy
childlikeness
like an infant
beauty
each seemed like a child who
had made a discovery
that was the most important
thing to them.
I received each person
their thoughts, their glee
their nervousness, their love.
Giving Love
For about half way I had not formulated a clear image so what I gave was incomplete. When I found the clear thought I could feel a connection with the other, and them receiving what I said. With Laurel I could see the thought going into her.
My ideas of love have changed again and again and again since I began practicing metaphysics. The unconditional love shown by SOM teachers and students toward a new person - me - was one of the first validations that I was in the right place. I had always dreamed such acceptance was possible. I believed it existed. And here it was in Columbia, Missouri!
The School also teaches one of the best tools for developing a loving, connected consciousness. We call it a circle of love. This circle creates, shares, and projects light and love between individuals and with all of humankind. At the close the words "I love you just because you are" are passed from one person to the next.
"I love you just because you are." No conditions. No exclusions. Regardless of social class, color of skin, philosophies, emotions, and the like. This love expresses just because you exist. This is namaskar, honoring another's existence. It is the deepest form of respect and the fullest experience of love.
I have come to see the Circle of Love as a joyous moment of awakening for many. The personal growth that enables someone to look a stranger in the eyes and say "I love you just because you are" and mean it, is inspiring. With each successive opportunity, you can easily evaluate where you have come from, where you are, and image where you can go.
The Circle of Love has spread into churches and groups through the years, as students have taken it into the world. It is a good seed, a way to love one another, and it is growing in the hearts of men, women, and children around the world.•
