Guardian Angels

by Dr. Barbara Condron

One of my earliest childhood memories is keenly connected with the familial environment my soul chose for learning in this lifetime. As is true with many contemporary children in the United States, I am the only child in the family. But unlike many children today, I had the advantage of living with my mother’s parents as well as my own during the first ten years of my life. I’ve grown as an adult to appreciate the wealth of opportunity for learning this afforded me. Part of that wealth was an intimate relationship with the woman I knew as my grandmother.

My grandmother gave me the eyes to see the beauty in creation. Being a Libra, she had a sense for beauty and being a rich soul she possessed great skill in many of the arts. She stimulated the use of my esthetic senses through teaching me to illustrate the world I perceived through pen and ink, watercolors, and oil paints. She encouraged me to express my visions by writing prose and poetry, and, having musical talents, she nourished my love for harmony through singing and composition. She introduced my young and eager mind to the wonders of sensory experience in the physical plane, preparing the groundwork for what would later evolve into the freedom I now experience in Self expression.

Yes, my grandmother was artistic. And she was psychic.

When I was about four or five years old, our family went to a Christmas pageant presented by the adults in the church we attended. Reportedly, I was enthralled with the entire production, but what I remember capturing my attention was the angel. When the angel appeared, to my young eyes, it was like seeing a celestial being twenty feet tall. He was indeed the tallest individual I’d ever seen in my life.

I watched this angel come to all the important people in the Christmas story. The angel visited Zechariah and Elizabeth, Joseph and Mary and the shepherds. To me, anyone who was anybody was visited by this angel. He was so impressive in his white diaphanous robes he was readily outstanding to me. In later years, my parents and grandparents told me that all the way home that evening all I wanted to talk about was this angel.

When I got home, I remember sitting in my room, and being the only child I had my own room with the door closed in order to have my own space and environment. I gazed out the window for the longest time, far past the time I was supposed to be asleep. I kept looking for a star, for I knew a bright star was very much a part of this attitude of Christmas--an attitude of joy and anticipation of something very special occurring. I kept waiting to see an angel. I believed if I had enough faith and waited long enough I would see one.

I remember hearing voices outside my door. Often my parental figures would congregate outside my door speculating on what Barbara might be doing inside her room and deciding whether to come inside or not. This night, I overheard them suppose that I was looking for Santa Claus. Little did they know my pursuits were of a more heavenly nature.

Finally, my grandmother came in and said, “Don’t you think it’s about time you went to bed, honey?”

I told her I had to stay awake. She asked why, wanting to know for whom or for what I was looking. “I’m waiting for an angel,” I replied.

Being a very tender woman, my grandmother smiled, and putting her arm around me she said, “Honey, angels don’t always come from the sky.”

I started to argue, saying that was where the angel in the pageant had come from so that’s where I was looking. She told me there was indeed an angel. She taught me that God had appointed a specific one to me, letting me know that God appoints an angel for everyone. And I believed her. I trusted my grandmother, because she had never given me cause to doubt her.

I wanted to know how I could see my angel; how I would know he or she was near. She told me if I would be good then I would know that the angel was there. She went on to instruct me when I would be silent and listen, I could hear my angel.. If I kept seeking, she told me, one day I would be able to see my angel. I believed her, and let her put me to bed without any fuss. When I woke up in the early morning hours, I remembered a dream where I had not only heard my angel but I had seen her.

This memory has remained accessible to me throughout my life, because the idea of a Guardian Angel has always been a part of my conscious thinking. With a background of early religious experiences -- many supernatural -- and frequent psychic experiences with my grandmother, the worlds beyond the physical senses subtly became a natural part of my existence. As the years have passed I have grown to understand this concept of each individual having a Guardian Angel. The belief in an unidentified presence is a response to an inner reaching common to all of mankind.

From that time forward I communicated with my Guardian Angel, even at times to the exclusion and dismay of my parents and to other physically incarned entities. I found her to be bright, quick, beautiful and possessing a delightful sense of humor. We agreed on almost everything and our conversations would last for hours. She would assist me in my endeavors, always waiting patiently for my attention to be directed her way. She taught me a great deal of what I know about friendship, loyalty and creativity.

My parents called her my imaginary playmate. But I knew she existed independent of their opinions or lack of belief in her. I can remember when the realization of the polarity of my parent’s view and my own dawned in my young mind. I was sitting on my bed one afternoon, door closed and deeply involved in a discussion with my Guardian Angel, when a knock came at the door. A little perturbed at being interrupted, I asked who it was. My mother opened the door wanting to know to whom I was talking. I remembered more than hearing her words I perceived her thoughts. I wasn’t quite sure why she thought as she did, but I had by now learned enough about my mother to know that she did not understand and I did not have the words to help her understand. So I hid the truth from her. I told her, “Oh nobody,” leaving her with her own imagination of what her daughter was doing. From that day forward, my communication with my Guardian Angel was no longer outwardly verbal. It was telepathic.

I had many experiences of an intuitive nature as a teenager that led me to seek education concerning the reality of Self, existence, and viable explanations for my intuitive experiences. My search led me through a series of seemingly unrelated events. After receiving a Bachelors of Journalism degree from the University of Missouri, I enrolled in a complete course of study offered by the School of Metaphysics. Little did I know at the the time that my experiences, including those with my Guardian Angel, would soon be accepted, understood, and explained by my metaphysics instructors.

In a few short weeks, our class received instruction in the first stage of meditation. Eager to learn and experiment, I found meditation to be rewarding and satisfying, producing an expansive feeling of love and peace I had long desired. During one of my early meditation periods, I experienced a vision of a beautiful woman I did not recognize, yet knew was familiar to me. Clothed in a flowing gown resembling an ancient Grecian style, she moved effortlessly up a staircase and beckoned to me. Our communication was simple and clear. Answering my query about her identity, she assured me we had known each other throughout time and she was always with me anytime I should feel a need to talk with her.

The reality of this experience stayed with me for days. I decided this experience was significant and held great meaning for me, but I was unsure of how to interpret it. By studying dreams, I had learned enough about inner level experiences to understand the basics of the inner mind’s language, thus, identifying the vision’s symbology; yet, I knew this experience had a unique quality that I could not dismiss. When I told my teacher about the experience she confirmed what I secretly believed saying, “It was probably your guide.”

In the not-too-distant future, confirmation beyond all doubt came.

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