|November 1, 2005 |
Finding Dollys Calf*
(*For those unfamiliar with the College of Metaphysics it will help you to know that some of the areas of learning include horticulture, agriculture and animal husbandry.)
I am one of the College Students that brings the cows down to the barn for milking. One of our milk cows, Rosie, had a little black calf, Mir, with some white on his belly, two weeks ago. We also have another milk cow, Dolly, who was dried up and sent out to pasture, that was due to have a calf. Since she wasnt coming down to the barn, we werent giving her a lot of attention with how far along she was in her bearing a calf. Our records said she was due in early December.
When Shawn Smith, the classmate who is also a herder, and I went out to the pasture on Friday to bring the cows down, Dolly was standing next to a little black calf. Thinking it was Rosies calf Mir, I went up to it and petted it. Dolly sounded her motherly hum, and the calf got up and walked with her. Then Shawn yelled out, We have another calf! Theres Mir over there. Dolly had her calf! I felt such joy and exuberance and surprise! We were expecting another one of our dairy cattle, Irene, to be due any day. For Dolly to have her calf first instead, was quite a surprise. I was so joyful for the new life!
Because of this, we now have five cows we are milking and soon to be seven. I am so full of gratitude for the abundance of life and milk in our dairy herd. I feel honored to be their caretaker. I am really learning more about connecting with the animals, controlling and directing my mind to connect with the cows and direct them to the barn every day. The calves and their mothers are so gentle and comfortable and familiar with me. I love it a lot. When we brought the new little guy down to the barn, I went and got little two-year-old Alexandra Madar, who came to the barn lot to see him. It was so wonderful to share this new birth experience with little Alexandra and her dad, Paul, along with current SOM President Dr. Pam Blosser, SOM Area Director Dr. Sheila Benjamin and ten-year-old Hezekiah Condron. I live in such a wonderful community with such wonderful people.
In preparing for my dads arrival from California, many of my friends asked me kindly, Are you excited? Sometimes I said yes. Other times I didnt know what to say. It was the same as when my mom came to visit. Its been the same many times in my life as something approached that I was looking forward to.
Are you excited? To me, excitement is an emotional experience. It is an exhilaration, often connected with the creative energy within me. I experience excitement as what I have created nears completion or, more frequently, when what I have been seeking is revealed to me. I am excited by expansive possibilities, when something that once seemed unreachable and ideal is within my grasp, when I see the immense potential of someone or something. I am excited when I am rapidly assimilating and learning, uncovering my limitless potential and that of others. Why is this not the word I would use for the upcoming visit of my dad?
Well, as I looked deeper, I saw that I was in fact looking forward to his visit. I was curious and joyous. Excitement is different though. One major difference I see is linked to my experiences with him since he arrived. There are times when Dad and I talk, especially in person, where there is a level of excitement. The conversation is intense and fun. Time flies. Other times when we talk I have had a hard time even relating to him. I understand the subject matter. Something is missing, though.
The difference, I have realized, is that the excitement occurs when our conversations move beyond the physical. When we explore the mental and spiritual, the things we have discovered and learned, then whatever we talk about is enjoyable for both of us. When it is a conversation about weather or cats or what has happened, staying with the conversation becomes an exercise in concentration. At these times, it seems the need is for me to probe for the deeper truth and to elevate the discussion so that it includes more than just the physical.
This is the reason I dont say Im excited about something physical that hasnt happened yet, even when it seems inevitable. What thrills me is the deeper things, the cause, the mental, the spiritual.
Home Improvement College Style...
Last week we finished laying the tile in the kitchen and bathrooms of the main building at the college. Adam, Sebastien and I spent a wonderful 16 hours applying mortar and cutting and placing tiles to fit snugly around this area. It was a great experience because I learned about how to sustain a heightened level of energy and perpetual motion by staying focused on the creation at hand. In keeping a level of concentration on what I was creating, I remained energized even though I didnt eat much food or rest all day. It was amazing to experience the energetic effect of having undivided attention on a project and the thrill of creation.
The Lesson in Watering Trees
Every week, those of us who are College of Metaphysics students, have trees in the college orchard to water. For the past month or so I have only been watering mine every other week when they are to be watered every week. When discussed at the breakfast table this morning, Dr. Daniel Condron, my teacher and Chancellor of the College, said that that attitude wont build a big, strong School of Metaphysics center out in a city. He continued to say that the essence of the learning with watering trees in the orchard is that it is a place to practice continually adding to something, which is a state of consciousness that will produce greater prosperity and abundance in ones life. I then realized one of the reasons I had become so apathetic with the trees that I water. Three of them had been bulldozed without any communication to me that this would be done. By speaking these thoughts out loud, Dr. Laurel Clark, Eastern Area Director who was present for the conversation, said that attitude reminded her of people who give up trying to put new classes together because some of the students from a class they have been teaching discontinued being students. I could see the connections and this was, for me, a lesson in attachment.
Dr. Dan also pointed out that every year we replace old trees that did not produce fruit with new trees so that there is always new energy, infancy energy so to speak, in the orchard. Otherwise we would have to replace all the trees at once and wait six years for them all to produce any fruit. He also pointed out that by speaking these thoughts out loud I could look at them and then replace them with productive thinking. When my term as a college student ends and I return to teach and direct in cities where we have schools, I will be a better teacher and school center director now because of this new awareness.
Facing Wasps with a Still Mind
This week I wanted to examine my consciousness at times when my mind becomes still, times of immediate need, intense emotion, and physical danger. I wanted to see the mechanics of how I produce this focus, a focus that is becoming my Dharmic gift to the world as a soul. I thought I would mostly be looking at memories, choosing to bring them to the present to examine them. This Friday, I saw that I had manifested a greater option.
When it was announced on the eve of Still Mind weekend that some wasps had gotten into the upper floor of the Peace Dome, I noticed a hesitancy to respond. I observed this, recognizing there were probably some fears resulting from an unproductive use of memory. Though I had much planned, I offered to help, figuring it would be brief and I would rather do this than have others who didnt want to be there doing it. I was not surprised, after all, when we were told we were not to use any chemicals up there.
Deep down inside, in subconscious mind, I knew that I could do this. This was strong and I was glad for the confidence it gave me. I trusted it, embracing it. As I did this, I found it building into a greater excitement. This was something I could do that was useful to the whole, this was a contribution suited to me as an individual. In the Peace Dome with ladders, I eagerly climbed to the top. My eyes are still adjusting to being free of glasses but I found myself keenly aware of each step and that there was not a wasp on it. I could hear them around me, even feel them. There was no fear. There was peace. It was so simple. I knew fear would attract them and, with so many of them all around, I could clearly see the effects of my thoughts. There was immediate need and I was still, very still minded and attentive. This is my Dharma, I thought. I had images of Star Wars, knowing these images from childhood had gestated in my mind because of my Dharma, the attention that I gave them in recognizing how they spoke of my potential.
My fly swatter was quick. There was no room for mistakes, too many close friends in the same room. Swat after swat I retained the peace. I chose it and watched it flow through my being, empowering me. In that moment I was a gift. I felt inner memories nearing the surface of my mind, ones speaking of times in battle, times of living and dying by the sword. Jesse, my fellow ladder climber, was also enjoying being useful in this way. I suppose its a productive use of our astrological sun sign of Taurus. There have been times when Ive remembered being a guard with him for royalty. This was part of these warrior memories. Even though in that time I sensed we were mostly on guard duty with little action, as we focussed and faced the wasps I could sense that there was a time when we had been called to action together. I know enough about my energies now to recognize fantasies from memories such as this. It was nice to bring this sense of the past to a point of service and elevation. I know that when we all draw upon our understandings from what weve built before for the greater good, then we will come to know our Selves more deeply, bringing them forth to a greater capacity and developing new ones. More importantly, the world around us will be created in a way that will bring greater peace and joy to us all.
What I saw with the mechanics of stillness was a way that I brought my full attention to the present moment and the environment by focussing on the need at hand and how my response would aid others. I also experienced a calmness, a chosen relaxation, due to the import of my attention being in the present moment. There was another major key - I could feel a way that I settled down into the lower part of my being, while still using the higher part for perception. It was an extending downward or sinking. I could feel myself in my lower centers more. From this I realized that often I try to focus with the higher centers, removing my attention from the lower. There may be an unconscious attitude here relating to the lower centers being distracting. If so, this will need updating. Right now I will continue to experiment and give the issue to my subconscious mind for further clarity.
(Bryon talks about his Dharma. Dharma is the group of understandings that you have to give to the world. It is your purpose for being here. You can read more about this in Dr. Laurel Clark's new book Dharma: Finding Your Soul's Purpose available in our on-line book store.)
Back to Diary index
Then Shawn yelled out, We have another calf! Theres Mir over there. Dolly had her calf! I felt such joy and exuberance and surprise!
Are you excited? To me, excitement is an emotional experience. It is an exhilaration, often connected with the creative energy within me.
In keeping a level of concentration on what I was creating, I remained energized even though I didnt eat much food or rest all day.
I then realized one of the reasons I had become so apathetic with the trees that I water.
Deep down inside, in subconscious mind, I knew that I could do this. This was strong and I was glad for the confidence it gave me.